


Baby, Good Night

by 185cmbaekhyun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, College Student Jongin, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Kidnapping, M/M, SLIGHT SEBAEK, Shotgunning, Smut, Soulmates, Stalking, Suspense, Switching, Threesome - M/M/M, idol oh sehun, latino jongin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-08-26 00:06:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16670977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/185cmbaekhyun/pseuds/185cmbaekhyun
Summary: The first time Jongin dreamt of the boy with pretty eyes, he was ten years old. Years later, it is quite difficult to admit that the same boy is now Exo's Oh Sehun.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This story is criticizing some traits, taboos and issues about the kpop community, such as scandals, sasaengs, shippers, colorism, and etc. I am in no way calling out anyone or throwing any type of shade. Please, don't feel offended by the way Jongin initially views korean celebrities as and how he opposes the way the fans behave towards idols.

                                                                 

 

 

 

_이렇게 너처럼_

_아름다운 밤이 내리면_

_잠든 세상에 난 포근히_

_안겨서 좋은 꿈을 꾸겠지_

| 

_When a night that is_

_Beautiful like you falls_

_In this sleepy world (I close my eyes) and quietly_

_Dream of you_  
  
---|---  
  
 

 

 

The first time he dreams about the boy, Jongin is ten years old.

 

At first, he doesn't really realize he's dreaming. Everything feels too vivid, too tangible. Colors stand out brightly, sounds ring loudly, and he can feel any detail around him as though his surroundings are realer than reality. From the cool weather prickling under his skin, to the soft scent of the incense burning through the air.

 

There's a pretty woman waiting for him behind a large balcony, wearing a tight, courteous uniform, and she's smiling invitingly at Jongin. He approaches her hesitantly, standing on his tiptoes and placing his little hands on the edge of the surface to get a better view of the lady.

 

"Hello, Jongin. We're very pleased to meet you." She announces, voice gentle and deep.

 

"Who are you?" He questions, suspiciously. "What's this place?"

 

Curious eyes dart around the large lobby engulfed by tall, white walls as well as white tiles tattered on the immense floor, and Jongin is just a little scared, to say the least.

 

The lady leans forward, as if she's about to share a secret with Jongin, and he notices her red lipstick is glowing on her smiley lips, and her perfume is sweet scented.

 

"You should hurry, dear. Someone's waiting for you upstairs." She tells him, tilting her head towards the stairs.

 

Jongin's all sorts of confused. "Who?"

 

"Hurry up. He's alone. Take the stairs." She instructs, raising her voice a little higher to further encourage Jongin. He doesn't need to know the reason why, but he suddenly just feels like he’s supposed to do as told, like someone is depending on him. So he storms off to take the stairs, and he runs up, legs taking him as fast as possible, inhumanly so. They carry Jongin up and up, until he's nearly flying, and that's when it hits him.

 

He's dreaming.

 

Everything feels twice as intense, and he feels like he can control anything in this secret little world of his. Except for the length of the stairs. They stretch endlessly and eerily. The more Jongin runs, the more steps surge up. But Jongin never tires. There's a foreign feeling churning in his gut telling him to keep going, to reach the end of the stairs. Whoever is waiting for him, Jongin's going to find them, save them. Protect them.

 

When the stairs finally reach its end, Jongin comes across a door, intimidating him, but not nearly coming to be as impacting as the presence that emerges from inside the room. Determinedly, Jongin bursts through the door, only to find a little boy sitting alone on a chair by the corner of the room.

 

"Who-- who are you?" He sobs, rubbing his tears away. The boy is fragile, skinny and small. And most perceptibly, he's frightened. More than Jongin himself.

 

"It's okay. I'm here to help." Jongin says, taking a cautious step closer.  "They told me you were waiting for me?"

 

"They told me you'd come for me."

 

Jongin seats himself next to the boy, on one of the many chairs piled up around the room, going as far up the windows. The boy doesn't seem to oppose his company, on the contrary, he instantly relaxes when he feels Jongin next to him.

 

"How did you get here?"

 

"I don't know," Little boy blinks, sniffs twice before his breathing evens out. "I'm scared. I want to go home."

 

His eyes are expressive and intense, and when his eyes meet with Jongin's once again, Jongin can easily read through his emotions. He catches honesty and innocence adorning them.

 

Suddenly, Jongin's hit with the utter sense of protectiveness towards the little boy.

 

"Yeah, I don't like this place either." Jongin utters, pushing himself up to offer a friendly hand at the boy, who takes it with trust and without hesitation. "Come on, I'll get us out of here."

 

The hold tightens around the boy's small, bony hand he and feels an electric shock run through his veins as he pulls the boy up, and he gasps, tugging at Jongin’s hand.

 

"What's out there? What if-?" He trails off, widened eyes looking to the door offering them the darkness from outside.

 

"It's okay. I'll protect you." Jongin promises, and the boy nods, clinging closer to him.

 

They step foot into the shadows and run down the infinite sets of stairs, feet barely touching the ground as they repeatedly turn around corners in abnormal speed, and the edges melt in mixed colors.

 

Their hands never let go of each other, neither does the hazed feeling that trumps inside Jongin's heart.

  
  


Grey clouds swim threateningly up in the sky, opening path to upcoming rain or snow, Jongin can't really really distinguish. Snow never graced his home before. In Seoul though, everyone seems to be overly excited for the first snow, that apparently is expected to fall early this year.

 

"Mom, that's so unfair. I miss you guys. I wish I could spend holidays with you." He whines, hooking the backpack strap higher on his shoulder.

 

"It's okay, son. You can come next year. Or after you graduate." His mother replies from the other side of the line, and Jongin can hear the fond smile in her voice.

 

"That's another whole four years." He reminds, dramatically "None of the other holidays overlap. What am I even going to do during carnival if I'm here?"

 

"You never go out on Carnival anyway, Jongin. Stop making drama." His mother chuckles, and Jongin rolls his eyes at her, knowing that she won't be able to see him and reprimand his behavior.

 

"I mean, four days off to spend with my lovely family. Who wouldn't miss that?"

 

Carnival back home is supposed to be spent partying hard, getting drunk and stoned, and most importantly, getting laid. But in Jongin’s case, it is more like spending time staying in, lying around and playing video games as he stuffs his face with junk food. That's more like his type of fun.

 

"You wouldn't have to worry about this if only you had become a celebrity like I told you to all those times." She scolds, and Jongin sighs audibly. "You'd be traveling around the world and selling out concerts by now."

 

Mom has always bragged about how her son could easily take over the world with his breathtaking looks and natural charisma, but that was never Jongin's dream. Besides, the chances of becoming an idol in his home country was zero to none.

 

"Come on, mom. You know that's not my thing. College is tough, but this is what I want to do. I didn't work my ass off for this scholarship for nothing."

 

"I know," She grunts, and Jongin internally braces himself for the discussion that's about to ensue. "But I still think you'd be a great kpop star with your looks and talent. Sue me."

 

"God, don't even start. Those dudes are everywhere. Most of them are not even cute or talented, yet they're more popular than Jesus here."

 

A screeched laugh comes from the line, just as a group of girls are screeching loudly about a shirtless dude on a vogue magazine cover from across the yard. A kpop dude probably, Jongin thinks, pulling a face at the fangirls.

  


"Some of them are great, okay? And hot."Mom says after getting her bearings, and Jongin can't disagree with that.

 

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not really paying attention. It seems like every cute guy is a kpop singer. I can't even flirt with them."

 

There's some shuffling from the other side of the line, and Jongin can detect the motherly tension traveling through the call.

 

"Oh, about that Jongin. You should be careful. Things are not so liberal there."

 

"I know. But it's also not as strict as you remember. I'll be fine."

 

"Okay. I only want you to be safe. And I also want you to be yourself. And I wanted you to be a kpop artist too, but I'm only joking."

 

Cackling, Jongin lets his head flop carelessly against the wall behind him. The ring bells, and soon a sea of students swarms out from the campus. Jongin switches the cellphone from one ear to the other, looking for a familiar dumb face in the crowd.

 

"I support whatever you want to do. You've worked so hard to get there and I'm proud. You're too old to become a celebrity, anyway."

 

"Hey, I'm still a baby." He protests after the words sink in. Then he pouts in contradiction. "I miss home. And my dogs"

 

"I know, I know." Mom says reassuringly. "You can try hanging out with your friends this time. It's chuseok, they won't let you be alone."

 

"Nah, I'd rather be on my own. I'd be too much of a disaster with my awkwardness, so junk food and Netflix will have to do."

 

"But, you do have a few friends, right?" She asks in concern.

 

"Well, there's Taemin. He's enough."

 

In Jongin’s language, he's the best. The one who's been helping him out of embarrassing occurrences and teaching him a thing or two about the strict culture costumes. Although he grew up learning with his family, and practiced his knowledge during the few times he spent vacation here, it still feels a little tough to naturally act accordingly with the costumes. But he's getting there.

 

"Is he helping you to adapt?"

 

"He's trying. I'm still struggling a bit with switching from informal to formal speech. I don't really know how I should call people when I first meet them. The rest is fine, I guess."

 

"You'll get used to it soon." Mom cheers, as Jongin pushes himself off the wall when he spots his friend waving at him from the main gate.

 

"Oh, speaking of, Taemin is coming. I have to go now, mom. I feel better now that we talked."

 

"Alright, say hi from me. Let's face time on Chuseok so you won't feel too lonely."

 

The suggestion makes Jongin all warm inside, and his throat tightens with long for his beloved mother.

 

"God idea." He beams. "Bye mom. Love you."

 

Taemin meets him halfway as soon as Jongin ends the call, slinging an arm around Jongin’s shoulders.

 

"Hola muchacho. Have you eaten?"

 

This is probably the third time Taemin has asked if he's eaten. It's not just a mom thing, apparently.  It's a korean thing.

 

"No, I have not. Why are you calling me muchacho? I'm not hispanic."

 

"Isn't it all the same thing for you latinos?" Taemin jokes, ruffling Jongin's hair way too enthusiastically.

 

Jongin huffs, shoving him off. "No, it's not."

 

"Can't you just be happy that I'm learning for you?" Taemin counteracts, with the biggest grin. "Come on, let's get some food. It's on me, mi guapo. Then you can take a nap and have some good dreams. You look like shit."

 

Jongin scoffs, renouncing and lets himself be dragged away by his best friend.

  
  


Having good dreams is not likely anymore for Jongin in a long time. Those types of dreams he cherished so much no longer come to him at night, only the ordinary ones, where he can't be control of anything, nor meet special people. Those meaningless dreams that fade away from mind as soon as he wakes up. Sometimes, Jongin has nightmares too. Like the one from last night where he saw snow, blood and heard cries for help.

 

Admittedly, he misses those dreams and how they used to make reality just a little easier to handle, leaving him excited to live through tough days just so he could go to bed and dream at night. Unfortunately, it's not in his power to make them come and go, so he has to settle for whatever tricks his minds presents him.

 

That doesn't mean he's stopped hoping. He still wishes the dreams could come back, or better yet, that the one person in his dreams would show up and surprise him in real life.

 

Hoping seems to get more and more useless as the time passes, and nothing ever comes to Jongin nonetheless.  

  
  


It snows on Chuseok day, and it's nothing more than alluring, even though Jongin has to mentally adapt to survive under such low degrees. The cold is not so tough to endure, neither is the stirring feeling of the snowflakes gently kissing his face when he walks around the city under the colorful streetlights. Most students went home to their families for the holidays, as expected. Just as much as it was expected from Jongin to lounge around at his dorm in front of the laptop playing random movies on Netflix.

 

He's bored out of his mind by the third episode of some high school show, and he finds himself staring out the window instead. Outside, intricate patterns of ice floats weightlessly downward from the pure white sky above, each flake swirling and dancing, as the air feels moist, and the sidewalk looks mushy underfoot.

 

The snow is really mesmerizing, it brings him memories that he's not entirely sure happened before, but leaves him longing for something. It's a weird feeling that he can't quite explain, as though those memories belong to someone else but somehow can play behind Jongin's eyelids when his eyes close.

 

When Jongin starts to feel suffocated with his own thoughts, he turns off the laptop, grabs his warmest jacket and leaves his room.

  
  
  


The snow gradually turns into blizzard and Jongin doesn't find it so pretty anymore. His latino blood can't handle all the coldness it brings. He should have accepted Taemin's offer and traveled with him to his family's farm. It's too late now, it's just Jongin and himself and the road that leads to the nearest brazilian food store, which doesn't happen to be so near from any outskirts he's familiar with. All because he was craving some feijoada. Hot and fresh sew with black beans and beef to calm his nerves. And not those he can make with simple Korean ingredients. He wants the real deal, natural taste from home.

 

Jongin forces his eyes into a squint to adjust his vision through the mass of snow that pours from the sky. His body feels heavy as he moves, feet burying deeper into the snow. Flakes pelt against his frozen cheeks, cling to eyelashes and hair. Shivering, his teeth begin to chatter. Breath warms face briefly before it is sucked away by the cold.

 

At this point, he should probably look for shelter, but his stubbornness speaks louder and dumbly, so Jongin continues his trek.

 

There is nothing friendly about the snow anymore; it falls thick enough to blind. With no way to know which direction to go, derotation is a given, the usual landmarks are hidden behind the white that swirls  densely. There doesn't seem to be anyone outside, except Jongin and the snow.

 

So panic arises.

 

His feet take him aimlessly to the other side of the street, and it's when he's in the middle of the highway road that he hears it. The sound of a car’s screeching brakes and tires skidding on the wet pavement shattering the thick sound of the storm. When Jongin's vision clears sufficiently, he comes across two blinding lights blazing ahead, piercing through the foggy whiteness. the flickering lights of the oncoming vehicle veers towards him, out of control. There's nothing much Jongin can do except close his eyes and wait for his demise. Flashes of his life play before his eyes within the two following seconds like a sped up slideshow. His family, his dogs and the filmt production diploma he'll never get to earn in the end.

 

But nothing comes, apart from an avalanche of heavy ice that cascades down over him, knocking him to the side. Jongin falls face first into the sand of snow, as the horrific sound of a car crash erupts.

 

And then there's silence.

 

"Merda," Jongin curses as he pushes his face off the puddle of snow. He's alive, he's intact, he thinks in pure shock as he feels himself up, looking for injuries. There's none.

 

From afar, an engine croaks, faltering in its malfunctions. Peering over his shoulder, Jongin makes out the image of the vehicle, Its front end crumpled with the force of impact thrusting into a power pole. The rear tires are still spinning around nothing, and smoke fumes out of dent metal hinges.

 

"Shit, shit. No!" Jongin struggles to his feet, dragging his trembling legs over to the destroyed vehicle. A gloved hand shields his eyes and his face feels numb, but Jongin strides forward to rescue whoever is in the confines of the metal.

 

There's a man inside, his face pressed into the airbag and body immobile, still strapped firmly into the driver’s seat with nothing worse than cuts and scrapes to show from the accident. He looks dead.

 

Jongin leans his face against the cold window as a mental break down threatens to strike him. Someone just died in front of him, and Jongin is clueless of what to do.

 

He startles futilely when the man suddenly jolts awake, eyes snapping open in traumatic shock. Then his eyes shut tightly and his face grimaces up in pain. Jongin hurriedly taps on the window, and the man reacts not too long after, a little bewildered.

 

"Are you okay?" Jongin asks once the glass window slides down. "No, no. Please don't move. I'll call an ambulance."

 

The man cries desperately. "No! Call my manager, please."

 

Jongin narrows his eyes at the delirious man, speaking nonsense as he fumbles inside one of his jackets for his phone.

 

"It seems you're badly hurt. I'm calling a doctor."

 

"No, please." The man insists, nearly begging, and when Jongin glances down at him, he sees the man's familiar frightened expression. Something boils inside Jongin's stomach at the sight. A memory flickering through his mind.

 

His phone is dead.

 

"Hold on a second, okay?" He says, scrambling to the other side of the car. He looks for signs of gas leaking, or flames burning around twisted metal. Thankfully, there's nothing. Jongin spends precious seconds struggling with the door handle before it finally gives in and Jongin manages to swing it open.

 

Entering the car, Jongin plops down on the passenger seat and his eyes dart around. Most of the dashboard and windshield are an imploded mess. The possibilities of that car coming back to usage are non existable. Driving isn't an option anymore, so Jongin simply slams the door close to bring warmness to the insides, even if just vaguely.

 

"Where's your phone? Mine is dead." He informs, grappling with the airbag, pushing it to the side. The man exhales deeply, as though he was about to be run out of air.

 

He coughs, then winces again when his body shifts. "It's in my pocket. But you can't call just an ambulance. You have to call manager."

 

Jongin scoffs. "Is your manager a doctor?" He sends the man a pointed look upon the silence he receives in response. "Then no."

 

Focused solely on helping the stranger, Jongin reaches for his lap, palming up around his hips. Immediately, the man flinches and another pang of pain seems to stir in him as he whines and clenches his fists around his middle.

 

"Please, I can't cause any scandals now, I have a comeback in two weeks. I've already caused trouble as it is with this accident, I can't damage our image any further than this. Not now. The antis will never shut up about this, and I can't disappoint my hyungs. My xunqis." He babbles with a cracking voice.

 

"Your what?" Jongin stares incredulously at him. "Relax, man. You can't move. This was an accident, not a scandal."

 

The guy scoffs, and tries to move again only to let out another agonizing cry. Jongin finally feels the square solidity of a mobile, and sticks his fingers inside a tight pocket.

 

Expected from an unlucky evening, the phone is broken, screen cracked.

 

"Amazing. It's broken." Jongin huffs. "What do I do now?"

 

Anxiously, Jongin threads his fingers into his hair and worries at his lips as his mind reels. There must be something he can do. He can't just leave this guy here to die on his own. The sound of his ragged breathing makes Jongin even more apprehensive, and he glances towards the man. He's bent over the wheel, letting out small sobs every time he attempts to breathe.

 

"Listen, there's a little market about two blocks away from here. I can run there and make a call asking for help. Just give me a second." He says, finally coming up with an useful idea. He measures his time and force limit to make to the store, maybe about twenty minutes or so under the snow. Twenty more to return. Seems too risky to leave him alone for this long.

 

"No, don't go. Don't leave me." The man requests, wrapping a shaky hand around Jongin’s wrist. "It's... the storm is too strong. Stay with me until it stops. It'll be easier for you."

 

With a supreme effort of will, Jongin allows himself to put himself in the stranger's shoes. He has a valid point, and on top of that, Jongin's just as scared to go outside.

 

"We can't. You might be having an internal bleeding right now. We need to hurry and get you assistance." It's what he says instead, mind choosing the rational options under their current circumstance.

 

"I'm-- I'll be fine. I promise. Just, please don't leave me here. Not now." The shock of the accident gives way to an almost paralysing fear, and the man starts panting audibly, sweat forms over his forehead and tears spill out of his red raw, glossy eyes.

 

A panic attack. Dimly, deep down inside Jongin knows how painstakingly unbearable that feels, and for some reason, seeing the stranger crumbling down in front of him makes Jongin hurt mutually.

 

"Okay. Just for a while. If the storm doesn't stop in 20 minutes, then I'm going." He finds himself complying, ignoring the voice at the back of his mind questioning him why would he stay for someone he barely knows.

 

The man breathes in transparent relief. "Thank you,"

 

For the first time, Jongin takes a proper look at him, realizing just how young he looks, maybe even younger than Jongin. A sense of familiarity floods through Jongin when their eyes meet, and he clears his throat subtly.

 

"Where does it hurt? Can you move at all? Can you breathe?"

 

"I can try. My chest hurts. And my side. It hurts to breathe."

 

"I'm going to check on you, okay?" Jongin tells him, cautiously reaching out for the belt  still attached to him. He clicks the latch carefully, and it comes undone smoothly, but still the young man emits a sound of discomfort.

 

"Sorry," Jongin murmurs, reaching under the seat now, to recline it as slowly as he can without hurting him any further.

 

A long torso obliges roughly to the change of position, and another strangled yell ripples out of the stranger's lips until he's lying flat.

 

"It's okay, it's going to be easier now." Jongin assures, praying that the movement didn't cause any internal damages. He unbuttons a coat, lifts three layers of cotton shirt and curls his lips down at the bruises splotched on his left rib cage.

 

He's lean and soft around the edges, but broad with faint muscles toning his pale frame. Strangely, Jongin feels a queasy taste in his mouth. This isn't the time to check him out, but his attractiveness is quite impossible to ignore.

 

"Aren't you too young for a doctor?" The man speaks with a husky voice, eyes boring into Jongin.

 

"I am not a doctor. I just know what I'm doing." His grandmother is a nurse, to be precise. And he's learned a few things from her over the course of his life. The knowledge apparently is paying off now, as Jongin deducts that this man has at least two fracture ribs. Two examining fingers press gently on the upper ribs, and the man hisses through his teeth.

 

"Looks like you fractured a rib. You need to stay still. Take deep, slow breaths."

 

The injured man manages to bark out a sneer, and his brow furrows furiously.  "I'm so fucked. They're kicking me out. I've ruined everything."

 

Jongin reprehends "Quiet. I need you to be calm."

 

He removes his own jacket and places it around the guy's frame, then he untagles the scarf from around his neck. He's watched by the other quietly as he turns and pushes the door open, instantly being showered with a rush of intolerable cold that spread his surroundings. He endures the deadly cold and works quickly, bending down to collect a big chunk of ice and coat it inside the fabric of the folded scarf. An improvised bag of ice.

 

When he returns back inside, he presses the ice onto the fractured joint, eliciting a shudder from the man, his own body shuddering simultaneously due to the exposure.

 

"Have we met before? You... look familiar."

 

Jongin hears the man ask, and his eyes flicker up to him. Oddly, Jongin feels just the same. And for a brief moment, he ponders. Has he seen such beauty before? Has he met such penetrating gaze before?

 

"I don't think so. I think I'd remember seeing such a pretty face before." He replies, eyes glued to muscles rippling under the aid.

 

The skin blushes adorably under Jongin’s eyes.

 

"And I haven't been here for long. I don't know you, sorry." He continues, not really sure of his words himself.

 

"Yet you're still helping me,"

 

"Why wouldn't I? Should I just let you die?"

 

There's no response for long minutes, and they fall into a comfortable silence as the pain seems to slowly reduce from the other's body. Still, a little discomfort is perceptible as he keeps a loosened hold around Jongin's wrist, grounding him.

 

After a beat, Jongin breaks the silence. "What's your name?"

 

A pause. Jongin receives a skeptical glance, as if he shouldn't be asking.

 

"Sehun. You?" The answer comes dryly.

 

"Kim Jongin," He introduces, offering a grin. "So, you're like a celebrity or something?"

 

With those outstanding looks, expensive clothes and luxurious car, it's an obvious guess. The manager and scandal talk made Jongin put two plus two.

 

"I'm an artist, yeah."

 

An artist. Jongin wasn't expecting to be corrected.

 

"From a boy group, I suppose?" He might also be an actor, or a model. A prince even. Jongin wouldn't be surprised.

 

"Yeah, EXO."

 

Isn't that a galaxy? It'd make sense for Sehun to be from another planet. He can't be real with that face.

 

Jongin's mind is disconnecting from common sense by the minute. It's too cold to bear.

 

"I might have heard about it before." He lies, but not really. He read it in astronomy books before.

 

"Might? Were you living under a rock?"

 

"Another continent, actually." Jongin corrects, letting his head rest against the back of the seat. His eyes feel heavy, his lips are dull.

 

"You mean another planet."

 

How popular is this group? Aren't they all the same thing? A bunch of flower boys just dancing unsynchronized wearing tight pants with poor vocals? Maybe Jongin's being too judgmental right now. Maybe he's just succumbing to death. Who knows?

 

"I guess I just wasn't interested." Jongin shrugs, feeling a little outdated. "Sorry, I'll make sure to check your group later."

 

Outside, rain lashes against the windshield, Jongin peers through the front window, trying to see what is ahead of him; there's nothing but blackness, with not even one star in the night sky, and only the moon’s faint light and the small square orange lights lining the road to see by.

 

"What company are you from?" Sehun asks again, probably just making small talk so Jongin won't lose conscience.

 

"Company? No, I'm not in any. I'm just at Hankuk University."

 

"Isn't it a little far from here?"

 

"I was just passing." Jongin's voice sounds slurred and aquiver. "What about you? What made you leave the house under a snow storm if you're having a comeback soon?"

 

Sehun takes a breath, wets his lips as he searches for a plausible explanation. He hesitates a little, but an encouraging nod from Jongin makes him loosen up.

 

"I wasn't supposed to leave the dorm. They told me not to. But I needed to go see my grandmother. She's sick and alone. So I sneaked out. I'm so stupid."

 

"You'll get to see her soon, I'm sure."

 

Sehun scoffs, again; as if Jongin's a little naive or a complete idiot.

 

"I barely have time to see anyone, I might not see her again..." Sehun pauses, swallows a thick slump lodged inside his throat. A tear leaks from the corner of his eye, and he tries to blink it away. More tears fall, and a quiet sob makes way past his quivering lips.

 

"Hey, no. Don't cry. Everything will be alright." Jongin comforts, his own heart clenching, hurting. Sehun's hand slides into Jongin's, and he holds it firmly as he lets the tears fall down his cheeks.

 

Jongin keeps holding his hand and whispers words of console until Sehun eventually falls asleep and the storm decreases a little.

 

Staring at Sehun and his still unease expression even in slumber, Jongin wonders if they've met before. It's something in his eyes, in the shiny glint of his gaze that leaves Jongin unnerved inside.

 

He starts to feel weak and nauseous, feeling his body begin to slow, brain starving for heat. Is this how Jack felt when he sacrificed himself for Rose? Did he feel this satisfied knowing that she'd would survive even if he wasn't?

 

Jongin grins warmly, eyes falling shut as his body trembles rapidly, and the coldness puts him to sleep.  



	2. Chapter 2

 

_나를 부른 것 같아_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_오늘도 난_

_꿈이라도 괜찮아_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_내게로 와_

_곁에 있는 것 같아_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_여전히 난_

_꿈이 아닐지 몰라_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_눈을 떠 봐_

  
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_I think you called for me_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_Again today, I_

_It’s OK if it’s a dream_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_Come to me_

_It’s like you’re by my side_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_I still am_

_It might not be a dream_

_I’ll be waiting for you, waiting for you_

_Open your eyes_  
  
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The last time he dreams about the boy, he is eighteen years old.

 

By then, dream boy is Jongin’s favorite person, his best friend. By then, Jongin had forfeited his sanity and and said screw reality. Even if dream boy is not real and just a creation from his lonely mind, even if they can only meet in dreams, no real person from the real world could come as close to dream boy in his heart.

 

He's sweet, adorable. Funny, and smart. A little too bratty to handle sometimes, but endearing either way. Growing up together, he came to share a lot in common with Jongin, and the more he grows, the more his ravishing eyes become Jongin's target of adoration.

 

Dream boy doesn't have a name, and when Jongin wakes up, he doesn't really have a face either. It's just the memory of his eyes that linger in Jongin’s mind, that he searched for so long, that left him frustrated and unsatisfied with any person who would enter his life that didn't sport those beautiful eyes like dream boy.

 

If dream boy is just a result from Jongin's imagination, then his mind did a pretty good job of creating perfection.

 

As if predicting a soon departure, Jongin spends a long time just watching him from afar. Dream boy looks particularly happy, smile so wide that his eyes practically disappear into thin crescent lines. Apart from him, everything else is just distorted figures, and a little sting of jealousy slams against Jongin's chest as he realizes that this time the boy is accompanied by some people. They seem to be just as fond of the boy as Jongin is as they fool around with him, presenting him with hugs and kisses.

 

Magnetically, dream boy looks up, and his smile grows even wider once he spots Jongin. The dream shakes its edges and time jumps a little ahead to Jongin and his boy walking side by side down the street, until they stop under a pear tree. It looks very much like the same tree Jongin passes by on his way to school every morning, where he likes to stop by and admire the papery leaves sprouting from its branches.

 

"I won't be coming anymore." Sehun says curtly, but his eyes are friendly.

 

Standing this close, Jongin notices his friend is now almost as tall as he is, but still the skinniest boy ever. His hair is long, emo style, covering his left eye.

 

"What?" Jongin asks dumbly. "What are you saying?" His grin is just as pathetic.

 

Dream boy sets his lips into a thin horizontal line, a habit he has whenever he's distracted, or hesitant.

 

"I have something I need to do. Something I've been preparing myself for. My dream. I'm going to focus on that. It's time I finally get to work on it." He explains, eyeing Jongin with expectancy, as if Jongin's supposed to give him a certain kind of reaction.

 

Jongin doesn't react.

 

"Okay... when will you be back?" His body feels numb, asleep. And for a moment he remembers, he really is lost in sleep. None of this is real. Not even the boy in front of him. Then why does the mere implication of him leaving hurt so much?

 

"I-- I'll work hard so we can meet one day. In real life." Dream boy's expression shifts, and he looks a little stiff now. It takes Jongin a second until he finally comprehends it.

 

Dream boy is leaving him.

 

"I tried finding you. I couldn't find you anywhere. Let's just stay here like this. I don't mind." Jongin presses, not minding if he sounds desperate and selfish. Dream boy reaches out, takes Jongin's hand into his own and steps into his space.

 

His presence is strong, too real. Jongin can feel his breathing next to his cheek, the calluses along his large palms nudging Jongin's soft ones. Jongin shudders slightly, his mind trying to process what he's being told.

 

"This is for the best, you'll see. Soon, if you look around, you'll be able to find me. Trust me." Dream boy offers a grin, and Jongin wants to call him mean, tell him to fuck off. But he can't. Not when dream boy is looking at him like this, with such hope and affection, like he's doing what's best and right for the both of them.

 

Maybe he is. Jongin can't live forever depending on his dreams and ignoring his reality.

 

"Please," Jongin mutters, "What if I can't? I don't think I can live without seeing you in my dreams."

 

Truth be told, Jongin doesn't remember a life where he can't meet dream boy anymore. What started being just brief, meaningless meetings, slowly became like a religious tradition every night. If he leaves, then a part of Jongin will fade as well, be gone with him to whatever dimension he's parting to.

 

"I'm just... I'm used to this. To us. You're my only friend." Jongin continues, relentlessly.

 

Why would a piece of dream need to leave? It's not real, it wouldn't make a difference staying. Jongin just can't understand. And should Jongin even be surprised? Nobody ever wants to be his friend anyway, not even in a fake word apparently.

 

"I'll make sure you can find me. Just give me some time, okay?"

 

Trembling hands. Watery eyes. Tight throat. Jongin doesn't know which one mocks him first.

 

"I need to go with them now. This isn't a goodbye, we'll see each other again. Okay?"

 

A group of boys, the same people from just a while ago, pass by from across the street and dream boy looks towards them, auspiciously. And Jongin wonders if he should blame them for taking his friend away, or if dream boy just got tired of him. Probably the latter.

 

Jongin can't contain the sob that breaks through his throat. "I'll miss you."

 

"I'll miss you too. But don't worry, we'll be together soon."

 

Jongin thinks he sees crystal tears pooling around the boy's eyes too, but his suspicions can't be confirmed once the boy wraps himself all over Jongin in a tight, intimate hug. He tucks his face into the crook of Jongin's neck, clutching firmly at his back, like an apology. One that Jongin isn't entirely sure he should accept. Although it hurts, Jongin can't bring himself to be mad at him, not even for one second. He can get over this heartbreak, and he will some day, but in that last embrace, that last meeting, Jongin pours out all his raw, wounded emotions into the arms of the one he's holding onto. It was good while it lasted.

 

It's unfair.

 

It's inevitable.

 

It's their goodbye.

  
  


As soon as the night clears to a faint cry of snow, Jongin rushes his way to rescue. He gives up on the dish he was so enraptured to prepare for the night in order to buy water and painkillers with the little amount he had saved on his bank account. He also makes the phone call to Sehun's manager, as the idol knew the number by heart. Within ten minutes, he hurries back to Sehun and gives him some final aid before the requested help arrives.

 

They get separated as soon as the ambulance pulls over, and only after Jongin is ushered to the back of a different ambulance does he collapse, body's resistance giving in to hypothermia. His mind distantly registers the paramedics providing him with medical assistance, but he still looks for Sehun, asks for him, to be with him. He's nowhere. There's not a single response from anybody as medical hands feel him up all over, placing an oxygen mask on his face. Everything moves in slow motion. He can't hear his own voice, nor feel his own body whatsoever.

 

His conscience shuts off with Sehun's name still stammering out of his lips.

  


At the hospital, wrapped in thick blankets in an empty and expensive particular room, Jongin waits for Sehun to come, for any news about his condition at least. Nothing comes. And Jongin feels very much alone and abandoned lying in that bed.

 

Body fully recovered, he's discharged later that night, and still no one dares to update him on Sehun. Jongin really doesn't mind the mistreatment, this fancy ambient is not exactly on his level, but the lack of informations make him feel all kinds of unease.

 

After dressing up back to his fresh and clean clothes, when he's about to make a phone call and ask Taemin to pick him up; a man strides into the room with no introduction or manners, if Jongin's going to judge.

 

"Are you Kim Jongin?" The tall man asks, arching up a brow as his eyes size up Jongin with disdain and disinterest. He's insanely attractive, with sleek and snob looks and confident presence. Jongin feels very much like an average, boring guy next to him.

 

"Yes. Who are you?"

 

"Siwon. Sehun's manager." Figures. The man was a total jerk to Jongin on the phone, and he's pretty sure he was the one who demanded them to be apart.

 

Jongin keeps his priority, and questions. "Is Sehun okay?"

 

"He'll be up and running pretty soon." Siwon replies casually, sliding both hands into the pockets of his trousers.

 

"That's not what I asked. I want to know if he's alright."

 

Siwon whistles, feigning to be impressed at Jongin’s conviction, then he snorts, walking around Jongin to give him a full glare.

 

"We're thankful that you saved him, but don't get your hopes up, kid. You won't be getting anything from us." He sneers, leaning closer to Jongin’s ear.

 

"Excuse me?" Jongin barely catches the swift movement of the manager snatching the phone away from his hand. "Hey!"

 

"Is that your phone?" Siwon flips the device in the air, showing a smirk of superiority. Is this the man Sehun trusted and called for when he needed the most? He's not worth it.

 

"I need that phone. Give it back." Protests Jongin, extending his hand towards his phone. Provokingly, Siwon raises his arm, and Jongin is about to snap.

 

But he knows better, so he takes a step back, purses his lips and glowers at the man. Siwon nods in appreciation, as if Jongin's some kind of obedient trained puppy.

 

A new mobile is pulled out from Siwon's jacket, and he hands it to Jongin fluidly.

 

"Here, this is the latest version. You can view it as a payment for saving him. It's expensive enough to keep your mouth shut, I guess."

 

Jongin belittles, staring at the stupid, larger and more sophisticated device in front of him. This man has some nerves, Jongin thinks as he slaps the hand away. "You can't just buy me."

 

Sighing, Siwon gives an unfazed shrug and throws the phone onto the bed behind Jongin.

 

"You just said yourself you need a phone." He retorts, sliding Jongin's real, stolen phone inside his jacket. "This one is getting investigated and then destroyed."

 

"There's nothing there. It's been dead for hours." It's a little charged now, thanks to the hospital's accommodations, but Siwon doesn't need to know that. Still, the manager doesn't budge. He just rolls his eyes to demonstrate his impatience with Jongin.

 

Arguing isn't really Jongin's forte. It's never been, and although he's willing to fight for Sehun, now doesn't seem to be a suitable time. So he draws in a breath, lets his shoulder relax, and tries to stare into Siwon's eyes without feeling like whacking him. "I just... Can I just see him?"

 

"Absolutely not." It's the obvious response. " Just get your things and leave. He doesn't need you."

 

Jongin receives one last glare combined with a jeer of pity, before Siwon turns and leaves. As the automatic door slides closed, Jongin fights the urge to cry, to yell. He swallows down the humiliation and puts himself in his place.

 

"Filho da puta," He swears under his breath, reaching for the phone, the bribe that lays on the bed, waiting for his acquiescence.

 

Sehun's just another overrated celebrity, anyway. It shouldn't be Jongin's business if he's okay or not. His job here is done. He saved the guy, got a payment. Now it's time to go back to his reality.

  
  
  


That night, Jongin dreams. And he's aware of it the moment the dream starts. It's the same sensation from before, and for a second he can't quite believe it. It's been too long since his last lucid dream, so he's not exactly sure of what to do next.

 

Anything, he could do anything in a lucid dream. Fly, eat, tirelessly punch a manager in the face multiple times. Just name it, and he can do it. While he's in the middle of choosing his next adventure, he detects it.

 

A huge mirror stands near Jongin, and it vibrates blandly, like a gateway to some other dimension. Jongin wonders what would happen if he stepped through, but he gets caught with his own reflection before anything else.

 

Jongin's the same as before. Same height, same skin, same face and body. Except the one he sees in the mirror staring back at him looks healthier, he looks alive. He looks beautiful.

 

"Jongin?" A voice calls, and a chill drags along Jongin's skin.

 

He turns curiously towards the voice to meet the one calling for him. "Sehun?"

 

For a while, Sehun just stands there, staring at him in disbelief. The same Sehun from the accident, the same face. The same eyes. Jongin stares back, uncertain. This isn't the first time they meet like this. In a dream.

 

Suddenly Sehun is walking off, towards Jongin, and he finds himself frozen, scared even. When Sehun envelops him in a tight embrace, Jongin hugs back. It's only natural.

 

"I missed you so much." Sehun says, rubbing his cheek over Jongin's. He's slightly taller and noticeably broader, and Jongin notices he's also warm and solid, safely so. He can't help but purr into the strong arms embracing him firmly. It doesn't feel like a first hug, neither like the last.

 

"What?" He chokes out, shocked. This time, Jongin can see everything, he can hear names and finally put a whole face to go along with the eyes.

 

And it's Sehun. Something is just not right here.

 

"I told you we'd meet again. It took longer than I thought. I'm so glad you're back." Sehun exclaims, pulling back to grin heartily at Jongin. He cups his face, and lets out a chain of giggles after studying him. "Look, I got taller than you!"

 

Jongin grunts, pushing the guy away. "What are you talking about?"

 

"We can finally sleep in the same timezone. It'd be easier now to communicate." Sehun continues talking, smiling and he looks so so happy for being with Jongin, that Jongin can't bring himself to make him stop. "I have so much to tell you. So much has happened in the last four years."

 

Jongin hums, trying to act cool. "I can't say the same."

 

"I want to hear anyway. Everything." Sehun urges, then he halts, touches his own waist. "But not now. I still need to recover first. I can't sleep well because of my injury."

 

If this is just a dream, why would Sehun mention something that happened in reality? Why would he show up to Jongin like this? In a type of dream he used to share with someone else before? Why would his eyes look just like the ones he used to meet?

 

"Are you saying... you were the one in my dreams?" Jongin asks, his voice a little lower than usual. Vulnerable, overwhelmed.

 

Once again, Sehun walks up to him, turns him around to face the mirror, and he sees the two of them standing next to each other in the reflection. They look complete, like they belong to each other. They look beautiful.

 

"Can you see now?" Sehun wraps his arms around Jongin's shoulders from behind, and for a moment they just stand like that. Quietly and leaning against each other. Sehun's presence just as strong as it used to be, making Jongin feel dizzy.

 

"That's bullshit. I don't believe you. I don't believe any of this. I must be going insane." He babbles, but still doesn't make a move. His eyes still don't look away from the mirror. The image is too stunning to miss.

 

"It's okay. Take your time," Sehun soothes, resting his cheek against Jongin's. "You'll see it, Jongin. We're soulmates."

 

Jongin’s eyes snap open and he wakes up confused, breathless with the same daze that he hadn't felt in a long time. The powerful longing feeling of the dream stays with him, lingering, unshakeable, in the air.

 

He can still feel Sehun's touch, his scent, his bratty laugh ringing in his ear. Almost as if the dream is still lingering all around him, in his mind, in his body.

 

Even so, he refuses to believe it. It's probably just his mind twisting everything up because of his accidental encounter with Sehun. Fragile and shy Dream boy would never grow up to be a worldwide famous star.

 

Undeniably, Sehun's features sort of resembled the little boy from his dreams, the eyes look the same, the same pleading ask for help he saw in the boy back in their very first dream. But that shouldn't mean anything. Jongin shouldn't fool himself. Jongin and Sehun can't belong in the same world, when the latter is an unapproachable and overachiever top celebrity and Jongin is just a broke college student.

 

As two total opposites that walk in infinite parallel lines that won't ever meet, there's no such thing as soulmates.

  
  


In the following next couple of weeks, Jongin incarnates the Bella Swan in himself and types Sehun's name on Google. He starts with the common, most viewed results. Wikipedia. Sehun's his same age, born on April 12th, a few months later than Jongin. He's credited as a singer, rapper, dancer, composer, producer, actor, model, choreographer, variety show member and a philanthropist. At 22. Impressive.

 

The upper sites on the first page are articles about the delay of Exo's comeback, and the fans are raged, worried. They demand explanation, as well as better treatment from the company, SM Entertainment. Jongin knows the reason why the comeback was postponed, but the fans, called Exo-Ls, seem too wild for Jongin to interfere and say anything. He kind of wants to comfort them, but he's sure no one would believe him anyway.

 

Next, Jongin finds out many other facts about Oh Sehun. He's endorsed by high class brand like Louis Vuitton and Zegna. Globally. His brief visit to Paris fashion show was a killer uproar, and lots of people ended up a little in love with Sehun's charms and well manners. Even Jared Smith.

 

It's then that Jongin starts to realize that Sehun's is not just an average kpop artist, he's something greater.

 

Sehun's a little shy at times, coming across as an innocent, but bratty maknae. He can be sassy and really honest when he wants, and he has his own unique quirks that are nothing more than captivating. He invents weird words to communicate with his fans, says bless me to himself when he sneezes and baba instead of bye when he's parting.

 

Not only that, Sehun seems to be a very important piece of Exo. He's their glue, the one who puts his effort to bring the members closer and makes sure they are always fine and comfortable. He teases and jokes, but he gets away with it because of his loyalty to his members. Sehun prays for them at night, and keeps updated with their individual schedules as though they were his own.

 

He's humble and sweet, treats everyone equally and keeps and open mind to accept people the way they are. Jongin has to admit he's quite admirable.

 

Sehun's a bit indecipherable too. At times, he looks fragile, barely talks, his members mention that he cries easily, and that he sometimes feels a little lonely. Jongin can kind of relate to that.

 

Other times, he's like the sunshine. Cracks jokes, annoys his hyungs, flirts with friends on camera. And every single person who's worked or interacted with Sehun before only has nice things to say about the young man. Jongin's suspecting they're exaggerating on it. There's no way someone can be this perfect.

 

Jongin clicks on a few interviews he's done so far, and gets baffled by how mature and smart Sehun sounds with his deep responses and responsible actions. He participates in charity and voluntary works as well. And it all feels genuine, his words touching Jongin like never before.

 

And since Jongin is this deep into his research, why not dig for more. He types for scandals, and finds none. The most shocked news about him is that once Chanyeol claimed Sehun's hair stinks. All silly stuff. Shooing away his rationality, Jongin types for girlfriend, but there's no records of any. Probably due to the stupid mindset that idols shouldn't date, the poor kids.

 

Jongin's soon linked to Sehun's instagram. Almost 15 million followers and a weird aesthetic for random, meaningless posts. He sees blurry pictures of walls, plants. A horse? Things Jongin can't even deduce what they are, and even some of his captions are unreadable. Most of his selfies don't even show his whole face, and they are poorly taken. Sehun really needs to step up his game and improve his selfie skills.

 

However, his fans seem to enjoy his style. His posts have over a million likes and his comment section is uncountable. Jongin reads some of them, all praises and nice words of support and encouragement. Some are just speculating spoilers, in every single incomprehensible post. They are the xunqis that Sehun had mentioned that night, Jongin learns. It makes sense they are called like that. They seem over protectively of the idol, as well as strongly supportive of him. Seems a little overboard so much loyalty for a celebrity, but Jongin finds himself pressing the follow button all the same.

 

What leaves Jongin completely impacted is Exo as a group. They have talent, sharp and synchronized choreographies, strong vocals and modest personalities. Their concept is unique and interesting. Aliens with Superpowers, a storyline being told through their music videos, that are always innovative and trend setters. With catchy songs and different styles.

 

Their friendship feels genuine, and the story they shared to get where they are today it's truly moving. Each one of them has their own successful solo projects, and their list of records and achievements is tremendously impressive. The relationship with their fans is adorable and loyal. Exo are always mentioning them, thanking and doing what's possible to please them. It feels as though they care more about their safety than their own career.

 

Apparently, CBX is the only group that can be equal to Exo when it comes to vocal range. They are monsters, managing to keep stable and steady on live performances, just like Exo. Both groups seem to be close friends, from their trainee days. They have toured together and worked on collaborations before. One is supportive of the other, and both fandoms seem to go on the same path. There's also solo Chinese singer Lay, to complete the group of friends. Jongin knows that one, he's really popular in his home country. And maybe Jongin has only noticed him before because he's solo, but he's starting to change his opinion on kpop groups as he gets more acquainted with Exo.

 

Then, accidentally, Jongin finds out about the shipping. Sehun is 'shipped' with basically anyone who breathes the same air as him. Once, he stood next this really pretty girl from some girl group at an awards ceremony, and both of them had orange colored hair. They greeted each other friendly, pointing out their similar hair color, and from then on, they became a ship. Jongin scoffs, for God's sake, are these people for real?

 

The other ship is Sehun and this really cute Chinese singer, who kind of looks like Sehun himself. They are friends, from what Jongin can gather, but they haven't interacted in more than four years. Where people even find evidence that they could be an item, is beyond Jongin's knowledge.

 

There's something called Sebaek that seems to be really popular among fans, and soon Jongin discovers it's a pairing with Sehun and Baekhyun from CBX. Dignity long discarded, Jongin googles that as well, and comes across an infinity of content. People seem really convinced that those two are really dating, and they don't bother denying it or acting any less obvious about it.

 

It's clearly fan service, Jongin tells himself, in an attempt to stop the jealousy that is bubbling inside him. Sehun and Baekhyun host a gaming broadcast together, and they attend variety shows together as well. And the amount of intimacy and skin ship is unnerving.

 

Baekhyun's instagram field is filled with selfies of the two of them together, on engaging dates, or at home being domestic. The worst of all is that Baekhyun is notoriously cute, talented and millionaire. Perhaps this is enough research for one night, and Jongin should stop lurking before he sees something tragic to his mental health.

 

**'Sebaek moments. Proof they are real.'**

 

Jongin doesn't know self respect any longer as he clicks the youtube link. The video's views counting is over three million, with a million likes. Outrageous.

 

He obnoxiously presses play, and watches Baekhyun massaging Sehun's thigh in public, as the latter has his lips parted in an aroused expression. In public. It's wild. Baekhyun likes to bite Sehun and cuddle him from behind, resting his head on his shoulder. Baekhyun stares at Sehun with hearts in his eyes and he sits on his lap, gropes his ass. Sehun kisses his neck at random times, plays with Baekhyun's lean fingers and whispers secrets in his ear. Jongin's about to tear up.

 

Instead, he gives the video a thumbs down, and scrolls down to the comments section.

 

_'I hope they come out soon.'_

_'They are soulmates.'_

_'Superior ship. Bbh is the bottom.'_

_'Sebaekists, read my Sebaek fic, please'_

 

Jongin's finger automatically clicks the link to some website called ao3. He scrolls down all the boring introduction, like he does to porn videos, and then...

 

_' "Daddy, fuck me harder!" Baekhyun moans as Sehun pounds his pretty little asshole with his huge cock._

_"Yes, baby. Call me daddy again" Sehun orders, assbdh  wnejdjjsjw e dbejejdhdbs djuahuhuqwhef….._

 

Jongin scrubs at his burning eyes, vision going blurry, words mingling in incoherence. What the fuck?! He gasps, traumatized for life. That's enough for today, it's too much for his mind. He flops down his bed and covers his head with a pillow, as if it can block all the jealous thoughts in his head.

 

When frustration drags him to sleep, Jongin hopes he won't meet Sehun in his dreams again.

  
  


Weeks stretch into months, time keeps passing and Jongin keeps dreaming, meeting him and falling.

 

Exo has their anticipated comeback on December, and it's a huge success. By the end of November, Jongin is a certified Exo-L and a Xunqi, and before he knows it, Christmas day comes. He spends his holiday watching Exo performing live on national tv, and on New Years night, when the fireworks blow up, he's swaying an eribong in his hand as he listens to Exo's newest album.

 

Sehun becomes just a guy who shows up in his dream every night, someone that he was fortunate to meet once to save his life, and ended up becoming Jongin's number one idol. Nothing more.

 

On his birthday, while he's busy with projects and essays, family and friends calls, he also tries to ignore the memories from his last dream where he hung out at a rooftop with Sehun. The dream was intense, for lack of a better word, as they star gazed and held hands.

 

A call from an unknown number flickers on his phone screen for the fifth time that morning, probably from a classmate that Jongin forgot to add to his contact list. He's always preferred text messages, as phone calls tend to be awkward and he often stutters. So he decides to pick up the call and end the torture once and for all.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Jongin, is that you? It's me, Sehun."

 

Jongin nearly falls off the chair, his elbow knocks out the books and pens from his desk and his heart starts racing in a madly pace. It's his voice, the same one he hears every night.

 

"How... did you get this number?" He attempts a laid-back voice, as he answers from the chair with his legs up mid air. He's so glad Sehun can't see his chaotic clumsiness.

 

"Not the point. I can get any number I want. I want to see you." Sehun sounds demanding, a little bossy. Just like he sounds in Jongin’s dreams when he's anticipating something.

 

Jongin bolts upright, gaping. "What? Why? Your lovely manager made it clear that I should never see you again."

 

There's a pause, and the sound of Sehun's deep exhalation.

 

"Forgive him, please. He was just being protective. I say we should meet. I want to say thank you for saving my life. And my career."

 

For good ten seconds, Jongin can't move. So he presses the phone further into his ear, expecting to hear the line hang up, but from the other side, Sehun waits.

 

Jongin doesn't think twice. "When?"

 

"Right now."

 

"Aren't you still injured?" He questions, just to make sure. He's noticed how Sehun's been acting just a little stiff lately, his dancing movements not so smooth as they tend to be. The comeback came way too early after the accident, and Sehun obviously wasn't fully recovered.

 

"Of course I am. I'm home. I'm recovered."

 

"I find that hard to believe. You broke your rib and didn't have enough time to heal properly. You can't possibly be fully recovered."

 

"It's been months, Jongin." Sehun deadpans. Jongin must sound like a mom. "Meet me then. I'll show you."

 

"Where?"

 

He hears Sehun’s sweet chuckle. His heart skips a couple of beats.

 

"I'll text you the address. It's my place."

 

Jongin can't help the stupefied grin that spreads over his lips. "Okay,"

  


Jongin changes into a fresh set of clothes, puts a beanie over his messy mop of hair, brushes his teeth and even applies some cologne. Pathetic, he knows, but he doesn't give it much thought as he speeds through campus. Practically leaping in excitement. This is not one of his dreams, it's real. He's going to meet Sehun after months thinking they'd never get to see one another again. He had already made up his mind with being just another fan, supporting from afar, dreaming on his own.

 

Lost in thoughts and bursts of anticipation, Jongin clumsily slams hard into a person crossing his path. It's a girl, and she's so small that Jongin almost doesn't spot her as she nearly stumbles. He catches her by the waist, and pulls her to stand steadily on her feet.

 

"Sorry, I'm in a hurry." He apologizes, bows a couple of times to show courtesy.

 

"It's okay. You're Kim Jongin, right?" The girl asks, blushing a little when their gazes lock for a brief second.

 

"Yeah, how do you know me? Have we--"

 

"No, you're just... popular among girls, that's all." She giggles, rubbing gently behind her ear.

 

"Ah," Jongin breathes, blushes a little as well. Word says he's got a few female admires around campus. Not that he's interested. "Anyway, gotta go. Sorry again. Bye!"

 

Jongin waves friendly at the girl, and dashes off to meet the one he's been waiting for his whole life.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_난 늘 언제나 너의 꿈에 나타나_  
_단둘이 함께하곤 했어_  
_순진한 아이 같은 널 보면_  
_괜스레 나까지 웃게 돼_  
_미치겠어 욕심부리고 싶어_  
_널 품에 안고 사랑한다 말하는 것도_  
_웃기지 아침이 오면 또 기억_  
_못할 텐데 난 잊혀질까 겁나_  
_Oh no no no come back_

| 

_I’m always appearing in your dream_  
_We were always together_  
_When I see you, who is like an innocent child_  
_I start to laugh too for no reason_  
_I’m going crazy, I wanna be greedy_  
_Even holding you and telling you I love you_  
_It’s funny, when morning comes you won’t remember_  
_I’m afraid I’ll be forgotten_  
_Oh no no no come back_  
  
---|---  
  
 

After that very first dream, Jongin starts seeing the boy frequently. At first, the boy would show up without fail whenever Jongin was feeling down to cheer him up. Then, as time passed, they became friends, best friends. Dream boy was the friend Jongin could never had in real life, and he was so good to Jongin that he didn't even felt the need to find one in real life.

They are 12, and Jongin finds himself somewhere at the top of a mountain. There should have been a view, but it had been wiped out by the rain and the fading light. A few trees twisted out of the side of the hill with leaves as hard as thorns. Behind him, below him, ahead of him, it was all the same. Nowhere land.

The rain that pours all around him, but doesn't reach him, reflects his sadness, his anger at the world.

Sitting by his side, the boy's small hand strokes Jongin's arm, coaxes him. "Are you sad again today?"

"No, I'm angry. I hate school. I can't wait until I graduate." Jongin spits, hugging his knees to his chest.

Dream boy pouts, inching closer.

"Why? Are they being mean to you?"

"They... make fun of me."

When Jongin clenches his knuckles into fists, a thunder strikes far behind, its untamed power reverberates and echoes across the green landscape, and dream boy startles a little. That represents Jongin's anguish, for being unfairly hassled on a daily basis.

"Why?" Dream boy asks miserably despite the fear. He's worried, the only one who seems to worry about Jongin.

"Because I'm asian."

Go back to China. Help me solve the math problems, you're supposed to be smart, China Box. Do you eat dogs for breakfast, dickless boy? These ae just some of the bashful comments he has to hear at school. And he can't even stand up for himself. No one cares, no one sees. He's just supposed to take it.

"Well, I'm Asian too. Even if I weren't, I wouldn't make fun of you." Dream boy tells him before his skinny arms loop around Jongin’s frame. Jongin accepts the gesture, never refusing anything from dream boy. A few grateful pats is given in return, and soon the rain dissipates and gives place to a sunrise. A golden light glistening as the occasional spear of light pierces through the clouds and dances over the rocky surface.

They cuddle for a while, watching the immense view all around them, as Jongin’s misery vanishes off eventually.

"By the way, where do you live? Here or Asia?" Jongin asks once they break apart.

"In Korea, of course. Aren't we speaking Korean?" He eyes Jongin, unconvinced.

"I don't know. Are we? I speak four languages."

Mouth agape, the boy beams, eyes shinning with excitement. "Wow, daebak. Which ones?"

"Korean, Portuguese, English and Spanish." Jongin cites proudly on his fingers, as Dream boy stares stupefied at him, it's lovely.

"I want to learn more and be like you. I want to learn Mandarin and Japanese." He exclaims, and just like that, Jongin forgets about his problems. Through the mist, comes a startling band of colors hung in the sky, a rainbow blossoming to color their private little world.

Dream word is infinitely better than reality.

 

 

  
Sehun's blond. And he looks sinful. The brightness of his locks makes his eyes shine with a clearer glint of chocolate brown, and they're alarmingly captivating. That's the first thing Jongin notices when he steps inside the Exo's residency and finds Sehun leaning against the edge of a table, arms crossed over his chest. Face expressionless, he looks significantly intimidating.

Somehow, he looks even prettier than in dreams, and it takes Jongin a solid minute to realize he's not dreaming. For once, reality is being kind to him.

Jongin bans his awkwardness from making an appearance and shuffles over to Sehun with solemnity, still a little uncertain of how to act, what to say.

Surprisingly, the dormitory is a lot less extravagant than Jongin expected. If anything, it's cozy just like his family's apartment, but just a little too large, maybe. Thanks to that, Jongin doesn't feel too out of place.

"You... look different." He notes, eyes ranking down Sehun's body. He wears nothing more than a casual black tee and blue jeans. And still he looks gorgeous, too stunning to the eyes.

"Told you. I recover fast." Sehun carries a smug expression, eyes darting over Jongin from head to toe. "I should have called you before, by the way. I've been too busy." He combs his fingers through his hair to swipe it back, exposing his forehead for the briefest second before the luscious strands fall back to place. He shouldn't be allowed to look this good with such a simple movement.

Jongin tsks and sends him a stern gaze. "Are you sure? You needed at least six weeks resting up."

"Pfft, I'm going back to work next week already. There's another comeback next month. I'm telling you, I feel wonderful."

Incredulously, Jongin shakes his head. He wishes Sehun would be more careful about his health, but he seems stubborn, too devoted to his work and his fans. Jongin's in no place to confront that.

"Here, this is yours." Sehun hands him a cell phone, Jongin's old one; in a clear attempt of making amends in the name of his manager. Jongin scoffs, raising a dismissive hand.

"Thanks, but I accepted your manager's bribery."

Sehun's expression hardens, and he shoves the phone back into his pocket.

"About that. I'm really sorry about how he treated you. I talked to him and told him you're my friend and that he doesn't have to worry."

Jongin's eyes widen, his jaw dropping. "I'm your friend?"

"You saved my life, I won't let you reject my friendship." Sehun says matter-of-factly as he pushes himself up to stand tall over Jongin.

"Let's go." He throws an arm around Jongin's shoulder, grinning down at him. Jongin takes the opportunity to get a closer look at his bare face, natural honey like skin. Soft and pale.

He's so tall, so... dreaming. Jongin's in deep trouble.

"Where?" He shifts to bring some space in between them and all that striking beauty.

Sehun doesn't even flinch. "Out for lunch. It's on me."

He doesn't let go of Jongin until they're out and about.

 

 

"How many calories do you think this has?" Sehun holds up a muffin to inspect it closely. Then he shrugs. "It looks yummy so whatever."

Jongin watches him shove the snack inside his mouth and chew satisfyingly, his slightly chubby cheeks rising with the motions. When Jongin gets caught staring, Sehun shoots him a sympathetic smile, eyes going thin.

A lady wearing a tight red vest saunters up to their booth and places the largest cup of chocolate bubble tea in front of Sehun, who cheers up on the spot.

"Here, darling. Your special drink." She's all but smiles towards him, rubbing an amicably hand along Sehun's shoulder.

"Thanks noona."

"Oh, your friend is adorable." The woman coos, her hand clasping over her mouth as she glances at Jongin. A few more muffled little sounds leave her while she stares at Jongin’s as though she's upon a mystical creature.

Sehun hums, slurping his drink. "He is, isn't he?"

Jongin feels his face heating up, and he looks down at his ramyeon dish. The woman screeches again.

"I'll bring him a special drink as well."

"Actually, bring him a birthday cake." Sehun orders, and Jongin’s head lifts so fast he feels a rush of dizziness.

"Aw, you're celebrating. That's lovely. I'll be right back with the most beautiful and expensive cake for our precious birthday boy." She rushes away in lively leaps, and Sehun cackles as he leans back against his seat.

"How do you even know about my birthday?" Jongin sputters in a hushed voice, leaning over the table.

He thinks the couple sitting across from their booth are sneakily taking pictures, as well as the girls who are standing outside. Maybe they're not, and Jongin is just imagining things.

"Your old phone practically blew up with notifications. You're quite popular." Sehun comments, nibbling at the straw.

Jongin blushes intensively. "No, I'm not." Some girls at college are just ninjas and got his number somehow. Even his new one.

"What year were you born?" Sehun asks spontaneously, stabbing the straw deep inside the plastic cup.

"94"

Sehun pauses, a smile spreading across his lips.

"Me too! We're the same age."

"I'm older by a few months, though." Jongin counters crucially. According to korean traditions, he's older and therefore, superior. The logic makes sense to Jongin now.

Sehun arches a brow. "And how do you know about that?"

"I read your Wikipedia page." He admits shyly, lowering his eyes.

"Interesting," The idol mutters, just in time for the cake's arrival. It's a tall, colorful one with candles and everything. People stare curiously and giggle distinctively.

Jongin's forced to blow the candles while they clap and sing a loud, out of tune happy birthday song to him. Random people join during the chorus just for fun. Perhaps, this isn't really that bad.

 

  
They share the cake with the cafe's staff, plus all the other costumers that are lucky enough to be hanging out at the same time as them. Sehun charmingly takes pictures and signs autographs for some of them, and it's like a surprise private birthday party from then on. For the first time in years, Jongin truly gets to enjoy his birth date.

It's way past working hours, and Jongin and Sehun are the only ones still left chatting harmoniously, about everything and nothing.

There's a strong connection hanging in the air, and conversation between the two of them floods naturally as though they've known each other for ages.

"So, did you get to see your grandmother?" Jongin asks, digging at a slice of cake absent-mindedly.

"Not yet. Since we had to postpone the comeback, we've been working extra hard on it to compensate our fans for the waiting. I talked to her, though. She's feeling better."

"That's great." Jongin says around bites. "Are you sure you can handle another comeback?"

"I have to. For my fans." Sehun points a fork at Jongin. "And for you too. My next goal is to turn you into an Exo-L."

"No need to. I'm already hooked." Jongin mimics the L sing with his thumb and pointy fingers, placing it onto his chin, under an enthusiastic smile.

Sehun hums appreciatively, tongue poking out to lick the back of his fork, smudged with chocolate whipped cream. He seems to like sweet flavoured things. "Am I your bias?"

"It's Kyungsoo, actually." Because Kyungsoo's everyone's favorite, and Jongin’s not about to please Sehun to that extent so soon.

Sehun's brow knits.

"Aish... Maybe I should revoke your friend card."

"Why are you so dead set on making me your friend?" Jongin's eyes set on Sehun's and for a pinch of second, Jongin's heart stammers.

Sehun, the one who Jongin's been silently watching from afar like a fan, is proposing a friendship, and for some reason Jongin doesn't feel valid for it.

"I feel like we're meant to be friends," Sehun responds, with a serenity glimmering his eyes. "I feel it in here." He puts his palm over his chest.

Jongin holds his breath faintly.

"I don't know if you believe these stuff, but my gut is usually right when it shows me things."

"Shows you? Like--" Jongin motions to nothing in particular, indulgently.  
"Not like déjà vu. More like visions. Things that haven't happened." Sehun pinches his earlobe, thoughtfully, insecure of his words, yet needing to convey them.

"Like in dreams," Jongin supposes, luring Sehun to keep going. This logic is getting more and more intriguing.

"Exactly," Sehun snaps his fingers, happily. "Like, I legit had a dream about the accident a day before it happened. But I only realized it when it was unfolding right in front of me, you know."

Images from Jongin's own nightmare from the night previous from the accident, sparkle in his vision. Although he hasn't thought much about it, the images haven't been erased from his mind. A prediction. Jongin's first one.

"So you can predict the lottery numbers in dreams?"

"No, I mostly predict random stuff. From time to time. And I usually can't remember the dreams until the exact moment they happen." Sehun scratches the back of his neck, his sour expression indicating he's had a few incidents connected to his predictions to count.

"That sounds scary. Did you see me in a dream before?" Because I have seen you my whole life, Jongin thinks, keeps it to himself. Sehun's experiences with his dreams sound quite different from Jongin's, and he doesn’t want to break the similitude they both seem to share so far.

"Maybe. I can't remember faces or names. I just feel it."

I feel it too, it's the same for me, Jongin thinks to himself, as he focuses on his breathing. Never before he thought he'd meet someone who has experienced the same as him. And ironically, it happens to be the same person he's been meeting in his dreams all along. Jongin wants to tell him about his dreams too, but he might sound too selfish if he does so whilst Sehun's confiding something personal with him. In other words, he doesn't want Sehun to think he's crazy and obsessed. He already has a lot of those in his life.

Some other time, maybe. And he can tell him.

"Have you met anyone before? From a vision or dream?" He questions, expecting to hear something that can put an end to his suspicions.

"First time." Sehun's eyes lift to Jongin’s, and they share a fond smile. "That's why I feel like you're my... platonic soulmate."

Some crumbs of cake get stuck in Jongin’s throat and he chokes violently. A soulmate. Like he said in his last dream. He hits his chest a couple times with a fist, manages his breathing as Sehun stares worriedly at him. He pushes a glass of soda towards Jongin, and his cheeks paint a little pinker.

"Woah. You should take me to at least three dates before labeling me your soulmate." Jongin gasps, after chugging down a gulp of soda.

"Sorry. Am I being too forward? This is the first time I tell this to someone. Do you think I'm weird?"

"Not at all," Jongin says, licking his lips. "I think you're quite fun to be around."

Sehun's face lights up, and he shrinks his broad shoulders animatedly. "So you'll be my friend then?"

Jongin shrugs. "Well, yeah?"

"Told you. We're meant to be."

 

  
Sehun and Jongin are friends now. Although they decided on it just a few minutes ago, Jongin feels like they've been close for way longer than that. He couldn't tell him about his dreams yet, and maybe he never will. The dreams might stop now that they're friends, maybe they don't really mean anything. Jongin is not really stressing over them at the moment. All he can think about is how pure and ethereal Sehun's presence is, how he is capable of being everything Jongin's ever wished for. Ever dreamed of.

As he walks freely towards his dormitory, the night still feels young, the world feels like his own paradise. Sehun texted him right after they parted ways, telling him to be careful and not catch a cold, asking him about their next meeting. Jongin's heart is fluttering erratically as he types his replies, full of stupid emoticons.

He hears the sound of a picture snapping, and the brief lights of a flash flicker across his face. Jongin squints, turning towards the source.

It's the same girl from before, the one he ran into on his rushing to meet up with Sehun. She's carrying the biggest camera Jongin's ever seen, how she manages to balance it on her tiny frame is a miracle.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" The annoyance is clear in Jongin’s voice. He's had enough pictures taken for one night, and he only allowed those because the target was obviously Sehun and his good temper, not him.

"Yes, I think you're cute." The girl smiles, then aims her monstrous camera at Jongin again, threatening another shot. He's quick to block the lenses with his palm. The girl drops it, sulking.

"Thanks? But I don't feel comfortable with strangers taking pictures of me. I'd appreciate if you deleted them, please."

"I am not a stranger. I'm like a fan." She reasons, and Jongin suddenly loses all respect for her. A fan is not supposed to stalk someone like this. Jongin's not even worth of having ones, being just a common college student.

"What? No. I don't want fans. I'm not a celebrity."

The nameless girl eyes Jongin's body with a raised eyebrow. "You could be,"

"No, I couldn't. Can you please delete the pictures?" There's a discomfort crawling inside of him that Jongin's never felt before. He's used by now to have admirers and people being overly nice to him solely because of his appearance. Jongin doesn't make much of it, he's probably not that good-looking as people claim.

Jongin doesn't do well with attention, and a random girl randomly taking pictures of him is the last thing he could ever expect.

"Fine," The girl huffs, but complies nonetheless. Jongin makes sure to witness as she presses the delete button on all the 35 photos she's furtively taken of him.

"Thank you."

"See you around?" The girl boldly winks at Jongin, and that's as far as he can bear.

"Hopefully not." He remarks, walking away without a care for being rude.

 

 

Before bed, Jongin does his night traditional research and watches a few fancams on YouTube. Those are nice to make him relax and have a nice night of sleep. There's something about Sehun's smooth and precise movements that make Jongin strive for more. He has his favorite ones that rewatches way too many times to count, but leaves him in awe as if it's the first time.

His eyes involuntarily focus on Sehun's body, his legs especially, and Jongin feels a little guilty. He's friends with Sehun now, if he keeps his thirst for him, he shouldn't be worth of Sehun's friendship, right? His other friends have probably done it before, so it shouldn't be offensive or creepy. It's just for support.

Just one more, he tells himself as he clicks another favorite one. Sehun's wearing tight green jeans and a white buttoned shirt. His hair is brown and pushed back, and he suddenly looks older, sexier. Especially when he stares right into the camera, deadly and pointedly. Jongin's sure whoever filmed that is no longer alive to tell the story.

Again, his eyes are trained to Sehun's legs, long and muscular thighs. Thin hips and perky ass. Small waist and... a very noticeable fat bulge in between his legs. Blood rushes south and Jongin scrolls way down to the middle of the array of comments. He's not being reasonable anymore, just childish, horny and disrespectful. And according to the comment section, he's not the only one.

_'I can't stop staring at his crotch'_  
_'He's so big and long everywhere'_  
_'I feel like a virgin watching this and his big nose'_  
_ 'I swear I'm a lesbian but this makes me want to be fucked hard by his dick'_

No, no. This isn't the type of support Sehun deserves. At least not only that, no matter how attractive he looks. If Jongin is going to ogle the man, then the least he can do is give him more support. That's how Jongin tries to convince himself to be what is called a 'soft stan.'

Jongin closes the tab and googles the date of that performance to save some pictures. He has quite a lot of them saved on his phone, but he blames the fansites for that. They do an incredible job of taking flawless shots of Sehun's better angles. Still they don't make justice to Sehun's real beauty. In person, Sehun's a thousand words more beautiful than that. He still saves some pictures anyway. And then some memes. Sehun's a meme maker with his expressive face and his sass. Jongin laughs at all of them as he saves them on his memes folder.

He founds some unseen photos of Vivi too, Sehun's dog. He's adorable, just like his dad in my aspects. Jongin wishes he could meet and play with him one day, so he can reminisce the memories with his own dogs. Even though Vivi has his own fandom, Jongin doesn't save his pics. He's not that obsessed.

That's when he starts pondering how obsessed he is with Sehun, honestly? Can he even blame himself if he's been dreaming about him for ages now? Even before he became a star?

Can he feel guilty when other millions of people seem to be just as obsessed? Regardless of his secret feelings, he's treated Sehun like a normal person, and it's the best Jongin can do. Sehun doesn't need to know what he does online in the end. He's in no way apt to be compared to the real sasaengs out there.

A sudden buzz from his phone drags his senses back and Jongin fumbles for it, brain still rattling.

It's a message from Sehun.

'Looks like you're stealing all my fans' The texts reads, accompanied by a link attached.

Twitter is trending the hashtag #sehunsfriend and the amount of tweets mentioning him, asking for his name and social media links, is just ridiculous. There are pictures too, of the two of them at the coffee shop earlier. Arriving, inside and leaving. From every angle possible. They call him gorgeous and hot and Jongin feels a little violated.

He wonders if Sehun ever felt like this in his life. Or if he just doesn't care. He was born to be the center of attention anyway.

But Jongin wasn't. He sends a scared emoji to Sehun and hides under the blankets.

His obsession with Sehun dissipates right then, after he gets a bit of a taste of it upon himself.

 

In the following weeks, the only ways of communication between Sehun and Jongin are through text messages. Resulting in Jongin being glued to his phone, even when he takes a shit. The comeback for the repackage album is in full swing, and Jongin streams and buys as much copies of the album he can afford.

Jongin receives a selfie everyday religiously, and albeit the lack of selfie skills, Sehun originally looks good in every shot. Those selfies are saved on Jongin's personal folder that he's named OhSe, and instead of sinning every night by watching his fancams, now Jongin stares at his selfies before bed. He treasures them quite a lot, as those are private moments shared for Jongin's eyes only. Jongin catches himself missing Sehun intensely, wishing he could actually be there with him, living every single moment as a close part of his life. Sehun doesn't make things easy for Jongin either. He never forgets to check on Jongin everyday, asking him about his days, telling him that he misses him.

Even when he's tired from performances and practices, he always tells Jongin good night and wishes him sweet dreams. Be it the crack of dawn with them usually texting all night long.

No, the dreams haven't stopped. No, Jongin hasn't told him. He's digging, paving his way. He's also hesitating, dreading to lose Sehun's friendship over something trivial.

**종인, 02시:09분**  
'How'd you sleep last night?'

 **오세, 02시:09분**  
'Barely. I can't sleep well these days. I keep having this bad dream.'

Intrigued, Jongin gnaws at his nails. He hasn't had a bad dream ever since he accidentally met Sehun.

**종인, 02시:10분**  
'What do you see?'

 **오세, 02시:10분**  
'There's a boy, he's locked up somewhere. He's in danger. It's scary.'

 **종인, 02시:10분**  
'Do you know this boy?'

 **오세, 02시:10분**  
**'** I'm not sure. I only remember his smile.'

Jongin snuggles up with his plush bear toy, and reads the texts over and over. Am I the boy? He wonders, rubbing his cheek against his favorite pillow with bear stamps.

**종인, 02시:11분**  
'He's locked up and still smiling?'

 **오세, 02시:11분**  
'He always smiles when he sees me.'

 **종인, 02시:11분**  
'So you see him often then?'

 **오세, 02시:11분**  
'Sometimes, yeah.'

 **종인, 02시:11분**  
'Do you think you'll ever meet him in real life?'

 **오세, 02시:11분**  
'I hope I do. I'm a little fond of him. Maybe I already have.'

Mind blanking, Jongin doesn't know what to reply anymore. He's panicking a little. His brain telling him he should be smarter and decipher what Sehun is clearly trying to tell him. Or maybe he's reading too much into it. Or is it-

**오세, 02시:12분**  
'Come see me?'

The message interrupts Jongin's inner monologue, and suddenly a sense of adrenaline shakes inside him.

**종인, 02시:12분**  
'Right now?'

 **오세 02시:12분**  
'Yep'

 **종인, 02시:12분**  
'Where?'

 **오세, 02시:12분**  
**'** Sm building. I stayed late for practice. I've been lacking a lot due to the injury. I can give you a tour.'

 **종인, 02시:12분**  
'Give me 20. I'll meet you there.'

He clumsily throws his limbs off the bed. His heart is racing at the speed of light. He needs a clean hoodie, and quick adjustment of his disheveled hair. He starts padding around the room, frantically throwing pieces of clothing here and there, until he finds something presentable and casual.

Taemin arrives just in time to see him ruffling his hair haphazardly in front of the mirror, somehow making it look better than before. His friend tosses him a weirded out look, before saying.

"Dude, do you ever check your mail? You keep receiving letters from secret admirers or something."

"Uh, really?" Jongin turns, still looking for his wallet and keys in a frenzy.

"Yeah. I know you're attractive and all but I'm impressed by how many people are swooning over you on campus, dude. What's your secret?"

Taemin drops a few (a lot) of written letters, on actual paper, on Jongin's bed. He quickly glances at them, nods and wanders towards the door.

"I have no secret. I'm just kind, I guess? Either way, I'm not interested." He shrugs, grinning truthfully. "Gotta go, bye."


	4. Chapter 4

_아직 몽롱한 현실 모두 꿈인 걸까_  
_이 얼떨떨한 느낌 넌 알고 있을까_  
_내일 아침 이 꿈에서 깨어나고 나면_  
_난 영원히 나는 법을 잊은 건 아닐까_

| 

_A dreamy reality, is this a dream?_  
_This disoriented feeling, do you know?_  
_When I wake up from this dream tomorrow morning_  
_Will I forget how to fly, forever?_  
  
---|---  
  
 

  
  
  


"Will you ever tell me your name?" Jongin asks without glancing at the boy lying beside him on the grass. 

 

The blue of the sky offer them with clarity, in an expanse of sweet calm air. There is a sense of freedom from the soft clouds high above, as Jongin performs a show to please his boy.

 

"Will you tell me yours?" He returns as a cloud shapes itself like a shark. They both giggle at the magic. 

 

"I don't think we're supposed to know each other's names." Jongin raises a hand and swings it in the air, the shark shaped cloud transforms into a horse. Dream boy cackles. Jongin repeats the trick a few times more, and the horse becomes a mermaid, a butterfly, then lastly, a flower. Dream boy loves flowers. 

 

Jongin turns to lie on his side, tucking an arm under his head. He watches quietly as dream boy adores the art up in the sky. His head is so big for his small body, Jongin worries he might randomly break in half.

 

"That's dumb. I consider you my best friend. I have the right to know your name." Jongin whines softly, poking the boy's shin with his toes. They've tried several times to hear each other's names. Whenever they try to utter them, they become voiceless. If they try to write them down, the words melt away before they can even lay eyes on it. 

 

"It's okay. We can still be best friends without knowing each other's names." The boy speaks, to him there's always a bright side to everything. He's never fazed to anything. Jongin envies him for that.

 

"Is it weird? That I consider you my friend? I don't even know if you're real." He sighs, picking at the grass underneath his hand. Sometimes, he thinks dream boy is a former classmate from kindergarten that he lost contact with when he moved out. Deep down, he knows he's just reaching for a reasonable explanation. The eyes are not the same as dream boy's. Those are unique, unreal.

 

"I'm real. Even if I can't be there in reality with you, I'll be here for you in dreams." Dream boy murmurs, closing his eyes to feel the warm wind that sweeps around. 

 

"Do you think there's a reason why we dream of each other?"

 

"I think we're just meant to be," It's the boy's quick response. "Since we live far apart, I think that's one way the universe made for us to meet? Who knows." He shrugs, eyes still closed. 

 

It could be this simple, it could be this easy. Jongin shouldn't hack his brain about it and just enjoy the moment, like his friend is doing. 

 

So Jongin closes his eyes too, lets the boy's calming presence take over his senses, and he shrugs too, head a little lighter.

 

"Yeah, maybe we're meant to be."

  
  
  


 

They have a brief tour around the building. The dimmed light floors are empty and quiet, and Jongin pretends to be engrossed as Sehun shows him around, points at pictures and trophies and says 'they're my friends' about every single person on those frames. Jongin doesn't know much about them, but he nods attentively and asks a few questions. Biased, he knows Exo. They're everywhere around the building, SM’s most valuable pride,and Jongin eagerly takes a few pics and places his palm against Junmyeon's carved on a wall. His hand is tiny compared to his.

 

Much to Jongin’s pleasure, Sehun urged them back to the practice room, claiming that he's slacking off and needs more practice, more work. He seeks improvement, and Jongin says nothing, just follows him, while internally he's convinced Sehun's the best dancer he's ever seen. He speaks from experience, as a former dancer himself. 

 

Jongin's not about to oppose the privilege of being Sehun's private audience, so he flops down the floor, leans against the mirror and watches his own live fancam. It's immensely better than those videos on YouTube, it's mind blowing. 

 

Moving like a ribbon through the wind, Sehun twists his body elegantly, like he's floating, weightlessly, and Jongin craves incessantly for the next move.

 

Jongin thinks he's drooling a little, but he can't help it. Sehun's movements are smooth and meticulous, limbs moving as though he's half liquid in perfect rhythm and still looking sharp and fascinating. His brow is furrowed in concentration as he moves in front of Jongin as a sexy, catchy melody plays through the room's radio system. Jongin hugs one knee, protectively, of what he's not sure. He just knows he needs protection from the dashing man dancing flawlessly in front of him.

 

One of Sehun's shin is exposed. For some reason he rolled up only one side of his leg's sweatpants. Maybe he feels more comfortable like this, maybe it's one of Sehun's inexplicable things. Focused on the beat, Sehun parts his legs and does a slow, sensual roll of his hips, his eyes laying with Jongin’s just as he runs his hands along his thighs and crouches low.

 

Unable to breathe properly, Jongin swallows hard and doesn't break eye contact. Sehun drops his eyes momentarily before jolting to his full height, and then twirling swiftly. When he lands, his foot falters and he stumbles a little to the side, grunts in distress. 

 

"I suck at this move. I swear I'm not such a shitty dancer like I'm coming across as." He remarks, removing the cap to reveal his sweaty blond locks.

 

"I know you're not. I think you're great." Jongin is quick to disagree, mindlessly standing to his feet to saunter up behind Sehun. He guides the dancer to stare ahead into the mirror, and for a second, when he eyes their reflection standing close together, he's inwardly reminded of a dream, of how complete they look together. Sehun inhales sharply as he bores his eyes into Jongin through the mirror.

 

"You're just forcing your weight too much on your bad side," Jongin instructs, voice gentle. His hand flies up to grip Sehun's waist, as the other holds around his hip. "You should try to balance your weight on your foot while you're spinning."

 

Enduringly, Jongin nudges at Sehun's shoulders, guiding him. Sehun's body flinch slightly, and he breathes out shakily.

 

"You're stiff here, try to relax." Jongin rasps next to Sehun's ear, digging his digits into the stiff muscles of Sehun's shoulder blades. Immediately he rolls his shoulders, easing out the tension. Relaxation soon bathes his whole body.

 

"Oh, you're right. Do you know anything about dancing?"

 

"A little," Jongin grins, scratching his head. "I used to dance when I was in high school."

 

Sehun wiggles his eyebrows, with an earnest grin etched to his lips. 

 

"Cool, do you want to dance with me now?"

 

"No. I'm not a professional like you." Jongin steps back, palms up to wave him off. Sehun spins on his heels, with that stubborn, glint in his eyes.

 

"Come on, just once. Just do your thing, I won't judge your skills." He insists, grabby hands reaching out towards Jongin.

 

"No. You'll laugh at me. I can't dance this type of music."

 

"What do you usually dance there? Despacito?" 

 

Jongin does a eye roll, insufferably.  "Don't even mention this song to me. I'm tired of it."

 

Sehun cackles loudly, eyes falling shut. "Then what? MPB? Is that what you listen to?"

 

"No one listens to that, basically. Are you doing research on my birth country?"

 

Sehun just shrugs, contently. "Well, of course. I've been curious about it. One day I want to visit there."

 

"I can give you some tips when you go."

 

"Like?" Sehun prompts, eagerly. 

 

"Uh, sunscreen. Don't walk alone at night. Don't freak out when strangers come kiss your cheeks as a greeting. Things like that." And much more, if the surprised look in Sehun's eyes didn't indicate the verge of cultural shock, Jongin could spill it all. Absently, Sehun touches his cheek, creasing his brows. 

 

"Come on, show me how you do that move." Jongin chides, landing a playful jab at Sehun's arm. The idol turns to face the mirror again, peering over his shoulder. 

 

"Can you guide me again?"

 

"Sure," Jongin repositions himself behind Sehun, and this time, places both hands firmly around his waist. As the music starts up again, Jongin takes the moment to get a whiff of Sehun's natural scent. There's no trace of his expensive cologne, just the sharp scent of his sweat and his sweet skin. Jongin's mind fills with exhilaration. 

 

When Sehun does the required motion according to the rising beats, Jongin's hands follow, coaxes him to precision. Sehun smiles softly and allows Jongin's hand to be his puppeteer. 

 

Jongin lets go of him as he re does the twirl, and when he halts, he's face to face with Jongin, noses bumping. Something clenches inside Jongin's stomach, and Sehun shyly dips his head.

 

"Fuck, this is impossible. I should--" He trails off, scowling harder as he once again removes the cap to ruffle frantically through his hair.

 

"You should relax. You're too tense, too anxious." Jongin voices, searching for Sehun's eyes. He's just too infatuated by them. He loves to be the one under his gaze.

 

"They're going to kick me out."Sehun blurts out weakly, still avoiding Jongin.

 

"As if. Your manager is crazy about you." He scoffs, turning his back to Sehun to head towards the exit. "Did you bring your car?"

 

"Yeah, why?"

 

"Can you drive us somewhere we can chill out?"

 

Jongin halts in his tracks, shooting him an expectant look. As much as watching Sehun dance is pleasing, he prefers seeing him relaxed and unperturbed. Thankfully, he has a plan to make that happen. 

 

Sehun takes a pause, considering. He kind of stinks right now, but he shrugs it off and grins. "Okay."

  
  
  


 

The beach at night in Seoul has a different taste to what Jongin's is used to. It's quiet and empty, with a dull and steady warmth from the grains. Already the stars glow up in the skies as Jongin and Sehun sit down on soft sand to star gaze. Another flash from a dream invades Jongin's mind and he shudders. He's starting to mingle his fantasies with reality, and he doesn’t want to miss  the blessings that reality is finally providing him.

 

"Do you miss home?" Sehun breaks the soothing silence that sweeps the air around them, saved by the sound of the crashing ocean waves.

 

"Not as much anymore. I miss my family and my dogs."

 

Sehun hums, still watching intently the sea, toes lazily digging through the sand. "Is it too different from here?"

 

"Some things are. But it's not so bad." Once upon a time, Jongin dread the thought of leaving home to live across the world to pursue his dreams, his education all by himself. And he never thought he could feel like he actually belonged. Never before he felt like that, even at home, like he wasn't useless in the world. For once, it feels good to feel like life is worth living.

 

"Can I stay at your place when I go?" Sehun glances at him finally, eyes sweet and shining under the moon lights. 

 

"Sure, if you don't mind a small place and nosey people."

 

"I don't mind at all. Will they show me what they usually dance there? Unlike you?"

 

The thought of Sehun staying over with his family, at their place, makes him chuckle. They'd surely love Sehun, so would his dogs. He'd fit like a glove. 

 

"Believe me, you don't want to know the type of dancing my people are doing. You can look it up on the Internet later."

 

"Okay," Sehun seems convinced, and Jongin can't even imagine how scandalized his reaction would be to it. Jongin then remembered the reason why they're there, far and distant from the obsessive eyes from the world. He reaches inside a pocket and pulls out a little plastic bag.  

 

"What's this?" Sehun inquiries, a little defensively. As though he knows what that is, but oppose the idea of having it.

 

"Weed," Jongin murmurs, blinking up at him with the faintest smirk he could muster.

 

"Did you have that with you all this time?" Sehun's voice sounds a little strained, like he's reluctant, and Jongin finds it cute.

 

"Yeah, why not?" He sticks his fingers inside the baggie, finding four joints, good size, and nicely rolled. He takes one out and lifts it up to Sehun's eyes. The younger gasps, eyes suspiciously scanning around, as though they're committing a sin.

 

"It's illegal, you know." He argues as Jongin also pulls out a lighter, flickering it repeatedly just to watch the fire burst out. Sehun grows quiet, too quiet, debating. He looks like a stray cat out in the open.

 

"Wait... you've never got high before?" Jongin asks, causing a twinge of pink to paint Sehun's cheeks. His eyes drift from the joint to Jongin’s face, apprehensively.

 

"I'm... I don't get to do much with the lifestyle I have. You know, ordinary things."

 

"Let's do it now. It's a nice stress relief. I think you need some."

 

"I-- I can't. I shouldn't--" Sehun denies, but his expression seems tempted. Just like the first time when Jongin was offered the same.

 

"It'll wear off your system in a few hours. And you won't get addicted to it. Just trust me." He repeats the same words someone once uttered to convince him, and Jongin feels a little like a bad influence. And isn't this exactly what Sehun needs right now? Sehun stares in awe at him, and Jongin feels triumphant for some reason. Probably the fact that he's able to give Sehun something he's never had before.

 

He holds the joint in the tips of his fingers, and he flicks the lighter again with his other hand. He gently rolls the joint into the flame, watching the end take light. He brings it up to his mouth, and in an effort to show off to Sehun, he takes a couple more puffs than he’s used to before he takes the joint away. He holds the smoke in his lungs for a couple beats, but he can’t stop himself from coughing. “Fuck,” he groans, bringing his fist up to his mouth, coughing loudly. It's been a while. 

 

"Come on. Take a drag." He urges to Sehun, offering him his used joint. Scrunching up his nose, Sehun opens his mouth momentarily to say something. Closes it again, unable to form coherency. 

 

"I don't know how to..."

 

"Fine, we should try something." Jongin suggests, taking another drag. It's less burning this time, he's got the hang of it again. He grins, slowly exhaling the smoke past his smirking lips.

 

Eyes hooded and dark, Jongin tilts his head back, taking a long drag, coating the inhaled smoke in his mouth. 

 

"Come here," He slurs, already feeling the encroaching high taking over his senses as he shifts and swings a leg over Sehun's lap, straddling him. Sehun stares dumbstruck up at him, eyes fixed on Jongin's lips, and he instinctively licks his own.

 

Jongin holds the joint in his fingers, almost to his mouth when he speaks. “stay still and trust me,” he says, and then he’s taking a couple puffs.

 

“Yeah, okay” Sehun looks up at him, nodding obediently .Then while Jongin is still holding the joint in one hand, his other hand goes to his chin, holding Sehun still while he moves in, their lips almost together as he slowly exhales and Sehun slowly inhales. Jongin's eyes flutter shut, and he feels Sehun's hands moving to grip at his thighs. 

 

Sehun holds in the smoke, and though the hit is not so intense, the situation sure hasn’t decreased any of the tension within the two of them.

 

When Sehun finally exhales, and opens his eyes, Jongin smiles at him, his glance going back and forth from his eyes to his mouth.

 

“Good?” He asks, shifting his body to settle closer to Sehun.

 

"Yeah,” Sehun replies dumbly, fingers curling into Jongin's thighs,

 

"How do you feel? Jongin's voice low, his smirk just bordering on wicked.

 

"Wonderful. Like I'm floating."

 

"Told you. Want more?"

 

"Please,"

 

The joint is already back to Jongin’s mouth as soon as Sehun voices his reply, never breaking eye contact. This time, with one hand curled on the back of Sehun’s neck, Jongin leans back to place the joint on top of the plastic bag as Sehun patiently waits. Jongin feels the shift under his thighs, Sehun's shivering.

 

When Jongin returns, he puts both hands on Sehun's face this time, smoke swirling around them in a heady cloud as Jongin exhales. Simultaneously,  Sehun inhales as much as he can take, holding it in his lungs, his eyes closed, listening to the beating of his own heart, then finally he has to exhale. His eyes flutter open, and they focus on Jongin's. He's good at it, of course. Sehun's good at everything. 

 

Maybe it's the beat of the waves that seems to take control of Jongin’s heartbeat, luring him to reach for the joints and the lighter again and prepare more puffs as Sehun's fingers twitches at his sides, impatiently now.

 

Slowly, agonizingly so, Jongin leans in back to Sehun, and the boy lets his body fall flat onto the sand, Jongin following easily.

 

Sehun’s hand finds the back of Jongin’s head and he closes his eyes at the soft touch. He tilts his face, letting his nose slide against Sehun’s as they become unthinkably close. Sehun’s skin feels smooth against his as they fall into each other, closing the gap.

 

The touch is gentle as Jongin opens his mouth and Sehun follows, letting smoke be pushed into his mouth as his fingers tangle into Jongin's hair. Sehun draws the smoke in, letting it fill his lungs,  hands wandering to Jongin’s hoodie to grab the fabric before hesitantly pulling his lips away from him to exhale. 

 

Both boys take a breath, a beat, a pause.

 

Sehun’s lips somehow look even prettier now, half open, a small gasp of air escaping.

 

Another breath, beat, pause.

 

Jongin’s entire body burns and he licks at his lip. Sehun's hands are still grasping Jongin’s shirt and he's hyper aware of his hand still resting on the back of Sehun’s head.

 

The sea waves roar behind them and Jongin fees himself melt along with it, holding onto Sehun a bit tighter as if to ground himself in the slowly tilting beach.

 

They stare at each other, for a long moment, just breathing in each other, and Sehun's panting a little, cheeks flushing. Jongin tries to open his mouth to say something,  but nothing comes to mind. Nothing can describe what he's feeling right now, so close to the boy from his dreams.

 

Mind spinning in the best way possible, both of them share a shy giggle,  and Jongin reluctantly frees his grip, bracing himself over Sehun, both hands beside his head.

 

"Can we cuddle now? I've heard that's also a great stress relief." Sehun bites his lips, licks over them before giggling uncontrollably again.

 

"Sure," Cuddles seem nice, more opportunities to touch Sehun, feel his scent and his skin. Jongin flops down beside Sehun and they to turn their sides, Jongin coming behind Sehun's back to pull him against the chest.

 

"Sorry, I'm kinda gross right now. I haven't showered from practicing." Sehun says, snuggling up further into Jongin. 

 

"I don't mind,"

 

When Jongin falls asleep above the sand and underneath the moon, he dreams of Sehun again. They're in a large room, trapped in huge black walls and white floors. It's always bright and white in his dreams. Just like in the beach, they're cuddling on a bed under white sheets, wearing white clothes as well. And if the dreams were too real before, this time is even indescribable. Neither of them move when the dream starts, and Jongin’s praying this is a shared one, that Sehun's having the same visions in his sleep.

 

"This is a dream, right?" Sehun asks, a little confused, but remains unmovable. 

 

"Not sure, let me check." Jongin sneaks a hand under his shirt and gives him a pinch. Sehun screeches and slaps his hand away.

 

"Ouch!" Jongin cries, wiggling his hand to shoo the pain away. Sehun turns to face Jongin, and his delicacy is outstanding under the brightness of the room.

 

"Do the symptoms of getting high transfer to our dreams?"

 

"No idea. I don't think we'll remember dreaming this time once we wake up."

 

Sehun clicks his tongue "Good. Then I can do this." He moves in to capture Jongin in a deep kiss. Their lips press together, making Jongin gasp into the kiss, until he puts his thoughts together and react, kissing Sehun just as deep, long and overwhelmingly. 

 

This is by far Jongin's favorite dream.


End file.
